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My Writing

Here you can find links to stories I’ve managed to con people into publishing on the net, plus a few exclusive original works you won’t find anywhere else (aka pieces I haven’t managed to con anyone into publishing).

TWITTER FICTION

Click for instant fiction hits!
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ORIGINAL WORKS

Unlock the Power of Your Writing: Ten Secrets Publishers Won’t Tell You
An indispensable guide for writers by the inimitable Lance Boyle

Goldie
A story of exactly 100 words about my first pet

Forza Italia!
A very short item about Silvio Berlusconi, who wasn’t my first pet

The Politician
A slightly longer fragment about people who go into politics

The Celebrity
Another fragment about attention seekers of a different ilk

PUBLISHED WORKS

(In reverse chronological order)

State of Grace
“We would sit in the kitchen and talk of nothing to smother the awkward background noises: the hammer-like tick of the clock in the hallway, replaced, when she came home, by the unfathomable sounds that emerged from Grace’s mouth.”
at Shortbread Stories

The Year of Discord
“Every morning the men marched Antonio and his cello up the mountainside, swinging their guns one-handed as they walked, and ordered him to play.”
In Tracks In The Sand: Stories and Poems from the Federation of Writers (Scotland) 2011

Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed
“First came the rush of blood, then a sensation like acute travel sickness as her heart dropped into her shoes, then the towering wave of rage and anguish as the backs of his smooth, brazen, muscular legs retreated towards his circle of friends.”
at The View From Here

The Storm-Flood
“At least once a year, as the fierce summer torpor faded into autumn, the wind and rain would rampage through the valley, upturning lives and property in a few intoxicating hours.”
In The Right Eyed Deer, Issue Five, free to download or available to buy in print.

The Long and the Short of It
“And now the niche he had carved for himself midway up the corporate tree, a secure but uncoveted spot that was under no threat from above or below, was to be taken from him. At least he no longer had a wife to break the bad news to.”
(Featured in the collection Body Parts and Coal Dust: The Best of the Whittaker Prize 2010)

Risk
“You’re the most selfish man I know. And the saddest part of it is, that’s the only attractive thing about you.”
Available to download at Scribd.com

The Mute Saint
“What Danny was really searching for, and he confessed it freely, was spiritual guidance. Science, religion, the weekend football results: they were all paths to enlightenment.”
(Featured in the collection New Writing Dundee Five, available from Amazon)

Living With Cancer
“At twelve, I was allowed to take charge of the shop, and I quickly noticed how the same people always appeared towards closing time on Thursdays, slipping discreetly through the door beside the counter and up the stairs. There was something in common about the way they looked: most of them, men in raincoats and diligently polished shoes, but also a few women, strikingly dressed in knee-length boots and berets.”
in Eclectic Flash (April 2010 issue)

Once More Around The Loganberry Bush
“Our heroes were free to come and go on condition that they left no part of themselves behind when crossing the threshold in either direction. That verbal snapshot tells you all about the kind of vapid psychobabble that keeps institutions like this warm…”
In The Rhinoceros and His Thoughts: The Best of the Whittaker Prize 2009

The New Man At Number 36
“If asked what he did in the daytime, he would reply he was a self-employed distributor or something equally vague and adroitly switch the subject. And before long, this fuzziness at the core of his identity started to stir the suspicions of the neighbourhood.”
at Shortbread Stories

An Indisposition
“A muted scent of lavender crept into Dr Piggott’s nostrils as he stepped down from the car and observed the wispy grey heads of two old women turning in the window and fixing their eyes on the stark black outlines of his jalopy.”
at Shortbread Stories

Do Not Read This Story
(Also available as an audio track, narrated by Toby Hadoke and Paul Jerricho)
“Your job as a writer is to add value to our culture and be a role model for our young people. This story does not achieve those aims. Certain aspects of it are inappropriate.”
at Shortbread Stories

Snakes and Ladders
“She was beautiful in a compact way, and her little black dress defined her modest curves as sharply as a butcher’s knife. And then there was the snake.”
at The Million Stories Project

The St Peter Principle
“God said he was sending down the rains to wipe the earth clean of one of his species which had gone astray. You have to remember he was a young deity back then, full of energy and artistic rage, but his self-confidence wasn’t always matched by his creative technique.”
at Abandoned Towers Magazine

No Expense Spared
“One minute she had been on her feet, teetering but essentially sober and flirting mercilessly with Humphrey Featherstone-Haugh; the next she was on her back, stone cold with her eyes wide open, the whiff of almonds tainting her final breaths.”
at Shortbread Stories

Butterflies
“Sam struggled to arrange the elements of his morning into a coherent mental tableau – the sheets, the room, the teacup, the luscious-lipped blonde in the nightie – but the more he thought about them the more they swam round in his throbbing head like drunken butterflies.”
at The NeverEndingStory

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